my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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