What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
