Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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