i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize