we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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