I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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