lets start a swedish sibling band together
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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