I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize