Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
