I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
