when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
