i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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