He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
