no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
