i think my tv is drunk
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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