LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm really busy with my period
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