She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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