We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
