i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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