i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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