I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
