is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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