Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
