I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I don't deserve a penis
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
