Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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