How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
