I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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