why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
