well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Green mimosas i think yes
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
