Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
