How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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