They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
