How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
