why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
