this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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