Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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