i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
