he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
