I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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