I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
