Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
