Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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