what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize