So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
