Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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