why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
