half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
