Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
