I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
