ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM

  Fav 27 8988 1176

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.

  Fav 15 1240 6201

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?

  Fav 42 1869 3979

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.

  Fav 27 4750 931

  share tweet
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy

  Fav 7 3789 1238

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best

  Fav 19 2011 4905

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (613): View more from Ontario

  Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover

  Fav 5 3538 1877

  share tweet
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.

  Fav 4 1341 760

  share tweet
  

• (863): View more from Florida

  our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane

  Fav 18 1800 975

  share tweet
  

• (406): View more from Montana

  Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.

  Fav 2 732 588

  share tweet
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.

  Fav 0 489 636

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (661): View more from California

  He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx

  Fav 2 357 581

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.

  Fav 0 68 15

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.

  Fav 0 46 4

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me

  Fav 0 11 31

  share tweet
  

Randomize