She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
