i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
