I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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