I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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