I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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