Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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