And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
