Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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