biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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