remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
