these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
