on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
