So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
