Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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