how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
